June 19, 2024

Fritz's Hit List #10

Today on Fritz’s Hit List: the remote controlled fart machine.

When a remote control is pressed, this device emits one of five prerecorded fart noises. Because these noises are stored in digital form, the device qualifies for regulation as a “digital media device” under the Hollings CBDTPA. If the CBDTPA passes, any newly manufactured fart machines will have to incorporate government-approved copy restriction technology.

Fight piracy – regulate electronic whoopee cushions!


I’m assuming here that the fart noises are copyrighted. If the noises have been engineered or chosen for their humor value, then they are probably copyrighted, whether or not the owner explicitly says so. Let’s pause for a moment to meditate on the sublimity of a legal system that can treat fart noises as intellectual property. Take your time; I’ll wait.

Welcome back! One more item of business: Thanks for suggesting this item go to brilliant reader Philip Cuff, who says he now regrets having released all of his farts into the public domain.